
torsdag 11. mars 2010
Baby girl I know it's rough but come with me

onsdag 10. mars 2010
tirsdag 9. mars 2010
There are certain people you just keep coming back to

fredag 5. mars 2010
Baby you'll be alright
There wasn’t much that could make her cry. It has almost been a year since it happened. Since then, she had cried. Sometimes just tears running down her cheeks. Sometimes, she couldn’t control the sobs. But it had gotten easier. She had made it easier, by not going, by not keeping in touch. She knew it was wrong. She had read enough books to know how the guilt built up inside her. She knew it was there, but she couldn’t feel it. She knew she had to pay, but not yet. Not until the bubble burst.
She hadn’t cried in months. Not since September. But September hadn’t been her fault. She had to go there. She had to see the stone; she had to feel the atmosphere without her. Emptiness. She didn’t sob. The tears just rolled down her cheeks and landed on her white dress. Black tears, one shouldn’t wear makeup to the cemetery.
Arguments since then had been… full of anger. She was angry. She could freeze, in the middle of the day with one thought in her head; am I happy?
Walking alone in the rain. She could feel it. The guilt. Only it wasn’t guilt. It was fury. Nobody seemed to understand. If she mentioned it, they would all say supportive things, but it was so easy to see trough it. They didn’t know how she felt. They didn’t get it. One time, someone said it had been her time to go. She managed to put a smile on her face, before she left the room cursing under her breath. Not to make the anger go away, but to keep the tears away. It helped, cursing. Yelling. Shouting. Fighting. It made it easier. Somehow.
She lost control today. All of a sudden people were in her head. And he knew, at an instant. She could hide all she wanted to, but he knew.
She’s selfish. Oh so selfish.
She told him she loves him. He doesn’t believe her. No wonder, really. He knows about her. How she plays tricks. He got her figured out, it only took him two years. But she tried to be good. The books told her about girls just like her. They would fall in love and live happily ever after. But the books never continued. They would end, before the people it was about died. This meant that she never got to really know what happened to them. They all probably stopped caring. Just like her.
He yelled at her today. Not for real. It wasn’t a fight. Not a normal one. If it had been real, he would have seen the fury in her eyes. The tears that filled them. The frustration that controlled her body.
He would have to face her, watch her not find her words. He would have to listen to her voice, louder, then more silent. The traces of black tears, he would have to face the flashbacks. From when she was immature, a little girl that didn’t know anything else than her family’s warm love. He would see the girl who still had her grandmother. He would see the girl he fell for.
She’s not the same anymore, but today she cried.
torsdag 4. mars 2010
Smile, tho your heart is aching, smile, even tho it's breaking

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness
tirsdag 2. mars 2010
what if i say i will never surrender?

photo; marius vålrenga.

photo; kristine bjerkestrand

photo; kristine bjerkestrand
Her skal jeg bo. Til høyre. Øverst. Så skal Maria bo til venstre, og vi skal gå oppå taket frem og tilbake til hverandre.
London var... pretty great.
Jeg vil dra tilbake. Det frister så aboslutt ikke med fire uker skolestress. Det er to måneder til alle kler seg i røde bukser og plutselig blir tøffere enn noen gang. Jeg misliker det.
Når det er sagt blir det ei knall russetid og blablabla, men kjære medruss, ikke oppfør dere som så mange andre har gjort tidligere. La oss ha litt dignity, please.
take me back.
mandag 22. februar 2010
Oh baby, your time is running out

I dag skal jeg rydde rommet, vaske huset, stikke på skolen en snartur, pakke til London, se film og stikke til Sarah.
Det blir travelt.
Vinterferie, great.
I morgen drar jeg heldigvis til London, med blandt annet Karina, Sarah Kristine, The Guy Above, Kristine og Hadi. OG SANDRA <3
Jeg skal shoppe. Bøker, sko og kjoler. Og smykkerier. Starbucks. Jeg skal høre på folk som prater kjempe pent, og glemme alt som gjør meg lettere irritert.
søndag 14. februar 2010
Burning bridges, shore to shore I break away from something more
Karina og jeg skal på Forbidden Planet. Oh, det blir deilig.
Dessuten skal jeg, Sarah og Karina å se Keira Knightley.
Britisk pub, laugh all you want, but thats one of my goals in life. Briter. Aksenten deres.
Det kribler i magen.
Kanskje går man på gamle bekjente også, London er en stor by, you never know.
Vel, det er ikke lenge til mamma og pappa tar med seg minstedattra og stikker til Egypt med resten av slekta. Frankly, føler jeg meg litt utelatt. Litt sånn som når jeg var i usa, og ikke fikk vite ting som foregikk hjemme.. Nei, jeg er ikke bitter. Heller sjalu.
Jeg håper de blir solbrente hele gjengen.
Oh, gratulerer med morsdagen mamma. Du er best.
lørdag 13. februar 2010
tirsdag 9. februar 2010
who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?
Det skumle er at det er egentlig ikke plutselig i det heletatt, det er bare jeg som PLUTSELIG har skjønt at jeg må skjerpe meg. Holde pusten å telle til ti, fordi dette skal jeg få til. Selv om jeg stresser meg til høyt blodtrykk.
Jeg tok en velfortjent pause fra lesinga, og så gjennom ALLE bildene i photobooth'n på baby mac.
Forhåpentligvis kan jeg skimte teksten såppas gjennom alt for blanke øyne at det går strålende i morgen.
Husker dere at jeg var hos Sarah, i fjor btw? I Wisconsin?

akk, tenk å være ung og bekymringsløs...








